Dinner party conversation

Nairobi has its share of good bars and clubs, but if you go out with any regularity you've probably exhausted the supply within a few weeks. That, coupled with the general sense of danger that many feel in venturing out at night in their shiny SUVs, means the social scene for expats generally revolves around throwing and attending dinner parties. And the talk at these dinner parties invariably revolves around crime - who's been hit, who's heard what, the latest trends.

 

In Hollywood you might discuss the Oscars; in Washington, grand juries; in Kansas City, the Chiefs. In Nairobbery you talk about crime. The U.N. puts out a regular crime report that gets read and dissected like Greenspan testimony. There's always some newsworthy wrinkle. Last night, at a party thrown by a friend in the NGO world, I heard from some U.N. types that The New New Thing for carjackers is to put a piece of paper on a back windshield - the idea being that a driver gets in his car, sticks in the key and checks the rear-view, noticing the paper. When he steps out to remove it, maybe he leaves his key in the ignition, and that's when the guys jump into the driver's seat and take off.

 

I met a couple who recently hit their one-year mark in Nairobi and were getting worried because they hadn't been the victims of a major crime yet. They figured they were due. The woman was trying to be positive. A few weeks ago, when she was stuck in traffic on a major highway through town, a teenager ran up to her passenger side, gave her side mirror three sharp tugs, dislodged it and ran off. It happened so quickly she didn't even have time to sound the horn. Maybe that constituted her hit, she hoped - her quota filled.

 

The next day they went to the police station to report the theft. When they were finished the officer brought out a box full of recovered side windows and said they could take one.

 

My friend who was hosting the party lives in a beautiful part of town called Spring Valley, where the homes are large and the guard dogs larger. There's always some new break-in in Spring Valley, but it's impossible to find a place there. The threat of robbery is a fact of life in Nairobi, and people deal with it. Living in an apartment complex with electrical fences and a staff of guards, I might face less of a threat than most. Then again, the next time I'm stuck in traffic, I could lose a bumper.