Happy Diwali

I'm off to India for a week for some vacation and to celebrate Diwali with the relatives. We'll be on a cruise ship from Sunday to Thursday, so assuming we get Internet access and I can tear myself away from my cousins' kids, I'll write from there. Enjoy the weekend.

Super-intelligent design

We came across this display at a museum near Johannesburg -- proof that women are the pinnacle of evolution, and that the actor Ian McKellan apparently lags a bit behind.

Shayne, me and Bhargavi in Durban.

Thirty hours in Durban

After spending a week in Johannesburg working on a story about a controversial land case, I went to Durban on Wednesday. Durban's a relaxed, remarkably diverse city on South Africa's eastern coast. We were three -- me, a local freelance photographer named Shayne, and Bhargavi, who had some meetings for work as well.

The story we were chasing in Durban was about virginity testing, a traditional Zulu practice that the government wants to outlaw on the grounds that it discriminates against girls and violates their privacy. (Girls who do it say the testing promotes their culture and pride in abstinence.) With the help of a colleague in Joburg, I tracked down the Zulu woman who is known as the doyenne of virginity testing and called to set up an interview. She was more than happy to meet me, but I wanted to talk to some of the girls she tests. "OK," she said, and then uttered words I never thought I'd hear: "You come here at 2 p.m., and the virgins will be waiting at 2:30."

We rented a VW Chico, a car that appeared to have been engineered by sticking a rickshaw engine on a toaster, and drove 60 km to Pietermaritzburg, capital of the KwaZulu-Natal province, to meet said virgins. We wanted to see the park where they do the monthly virginity tests, so I, Shayne, the tester and three of her pre-selected virgins piled into the toaster and set off.

Shayne, a good travel companion and all-around badass (he races motorbikes and got his two front teeth knocked out covering protests in Joburg slums), was driving. The virginity tester wasn't great with directions, and the Chico couldn't handle the weight of six humans, so each time Shayne hit the brakes to make a sudden turn, the car kept coasting. Several times, I was sure we were going to hit something or someone, and I could just imagine the headlines in one of the sensationalist local Zulu publications: WHITEY, AMERICAN KILL VIRGINS. Fortunately, Shayne avoided disaster, we got our story, and we returned the virgins unscathed.

Today we had some free time in the afternoon and went down to the Blue Lagoon area for "bunnies" -- massive, hollowed-out bread loaves filled with mutton stew. Durban's got a big Indian population, and bunnies were a staple food for them during the apartheid years. Naturally, these things are ridiculously spicy, and within a few bites my nose was running, my face was flush and my diet Coke was downed. Both the Indians were outdone by the white South African, who didn't break a sweat. If my mom is reading this, she's no doubt shedding a tear.

We couldn't finish all the food (Shashank doesn't like spicy mutton), so Shayne packed up the leftovers as tightly as possible, put them in a plastic bag, tied the top and placed it in a trashcan where a hungry person would be sure to find them tonight. A nice gesture, but I think we should have put a couple of water bottles down there too.

Dateline envy

I'm in South Africa this week where we've been playing Fun With Vowels. I could spend entire days here just reading road signs aloud, it's that much fun. Potchefstroom, Swartruggens, Boekenhoutkloof, Hornsoord, Magaliesmoot, Phokeng, the list goes on. (There's also the occasional street named after a former apartheid leader, which is less humorous.) Getting directions over the phone can take up most of the afternoon, but South Africans are really patient with this.

The good news is, the crazy names mean I have a good chance for a killer dateline while I'm here. Journalists have an informal competition with one another over datelines -- the location that precedes the first sentence of a news story, telling where the story was reported from. These range from the hard-core (FALLUJAH, Iraq; PYONGYANG, North Korea, etc.) to the hilarious (BLACK TICKLE, Newfoundland), and the best ones give you a good anecdote for a lifetime's worth of journalist cocktail parties. A photographer I'm working with says he filed pictures once from PIG'S PENIS, South Africa, but the best I've ever seen was in the New York Times last year -- LAKE CHARGOGGAGOGGMANCHAUGGAGOGGCHAUBUNAGUNGAMAUGG, Mass., the longest place name in the U.S.

NYT gets hip to flip-cup

The New York Times has devoted an astonishing 1,600 words to the trend of drinking games sponsored by beer companies. (Does anyone get as weirded out as me when The Grey Lady writes one of its periodic State of the Youth stories? It's like your mom asking you what a kegstand is.)

Anyway, the story is worth reading, if only because the reporter hung out at some college bars "for color" and it's rare that the Times quotes people who are unquestionably hammered.

Well, pretty rare.

The greatest game ever played?

That's what they're saying today -- and man, it sure felt like it.

Viva la Liberia

I'm finally back in Nairobi after a long journey. Driving back through the city on the way home last night, I was surprised at how happy I felt to be back. Maybe that was my wallet talking. I had just come from a 24-hour layover in Brussels, which distinguished itself mainly by high prices, and Liberia, where the prices were even higher. Over the past two weeks, I spent money like Paris Hilton.

In Liberia I didn't have a choice -- the economy is completely shattered, U.S. dollars are pretty much the only legitimate currency, there are no banks or ATMs, and no one ever has any change. Ever. So depending on what you have in your wallet, a taxi ride to the corner can cost $5, $10, $20 or $100. I brought a thick wad of $10 bills into the country and guarded them with my life. At restaurants, when people asked me if I could break a $20, I said no, and then fished exact change from my wallet like a jerk.

Despite all the difficulties of working in Liberia -- the expense, lack of amenities, intermittent power and water, occasionally unruly crowds, death-trap taxis and potholes the size of dumpsters -- it was pretty thrilling to be there for the election. I'm not sure whether it registered in the American media, especially with world news this week understandably dominated by the earthquake, but the election was a historic moment for a devastated country. Even a cynic would have had to be impressed to see people wait seven or eight hours in the searing heat to vote, and continue to wait long after dark, in a country where political leadership has brought nothing but destruction and disappointment for the past century and a half. Whether they're in for more disappointment with the new administration remains to be seen -- in any case it looks like the election is headed for a runoff.

As all us exhausted, sweating journalists waited for the flight out on Wednesday night, the frontrunner in the race -- George Weah, a soccer legend who in Liberia is revered like Ali -- showed up at the airport. The journos started buzzing -- Wait, he's leaving the country...he knows something we don't. But actually he was just dropping off his wife, who lives in the States. Weah has a huge fortune and has basically been giving his money away to various causes in Liberia for the past decade. His wife wasn't so lucky -- she flew coach.

This is Monrovia. Oh yeah, I feel safe.

There's no running water, so people haul water in huge plastic jerrycans.

Monrovia street kids wave to the camera.

On election day, a Nigerian UN peacekeeper keeps voters in line.

Folks got in line as early as midnight the night before and waited...and waited...and waited... 

It just wouldn't be an election without Jimmy Carter, our beloved ex-president and frequent election monitor. Carter actually looked pretty good despite the intense heat -- and it wasn't because of the spiffy velcro sneakers he was wearing (not pictured).

My office in Liberia this week...lest anyone think a place policed by 15,000 UN peacekeepers is all bad. 

Is any of this getting through?

I've been trying to post via e-mail from Monrovia, but for some reason they don't seem to be publishing to the Web. Also weird, I can't access Google, Yahoo or any other search engine from the local ISP. Censorship in West Africa? I would raise hackles, but really, if it's true, it's the least of their problems. Consider that it took me two hours to travel 35 miles yesterday. And that was on one of Liberia's good roads.

 

I'm writing from safely inside the expat haven that is my hotel, an alphabet soup of westerners on expense accounts (and therefore able to justify spending $150/night on a hotel that is normally $75/night). CNN, BBC, AFP are all staying here. I never see any of them, which makes me wonder whether I'm missing something or they are all asleep in their rooms with the air-conditioning on full blast.

Thanks

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes. Ah, to be 26 and in Liberia...I think there's a song that goes like that. No? Well, there should be.

 

I arrived last night and will be here through the elections, which are scheduled for next Tuesday. Amid the crush of westerners who have descended on Monrovia this week, I managed to find a room at one of the better hotels in town (the Krystal Oceanview, which would be a good name for an exotic dancer), with air-conditioning, a decent restaurant and even intermittent wireless Internet. It's not cheap, and this is an all-cash economy, so we'll see how long I can afford to stay here, but for now it's about as good as I can hope for.

 

I'm on deadline today so I'll write more later. But to answer the burning question -- yes, I've already seen a few of the "fast women." Three of them were in the hotel restaurant last night speeding around with an older Lebanese gentleman.

Cape Town's coastline

Paris...the Cape Town of France

Let me just say, this is one amazing city. Forget the stunning ocean vistas, great food, beautiful people, charming accent and rugged Table Mountain lording over it all. Cape Town has sidewalks, which means I didn't nearly run families of pedestrians off the road in my still shaky transition to left-hand driving.

Bhargavi has landed in a stylish, modern city that reminded me a lot of coastal California, especially La Jolla. Being the start of fall, it was a bit damp and chilly, so we couldn't get up to the top of Table Mountain, but still it was a great getaway for me before going off to the rougher conditions of Liberia this week (see post below). We ate like idiots (lots of snoek, a local fish), shopped for western music (Kanye and Coldplay are hard to come by in Nairobi), watched a good movie and got spa treatments at an oceanfront resort.

Cape Town isn't without its problems -- especially crime -- and it's hard to forget this was until only recently an outpost of apartheid. But we met some pretty cool locals, including a friend of Bhargavi's who founded the first pizza delivery chain in CT (let's just say he's doing well), and the ridiculously smooth Luvo, who is one of the country's youngest sommeliers at age 22.

Of course, Africa never lets you drop your guard. At the baggage claim this morning I found the outside pockets of my backpack had been emptied between the Cape Town airport and Nairobi, and not by me. I lost a pair of socks and malaria pills -- which are stupidly expensive -- but fortunately nothing worse. I can hear my parents now: Rule #1 of international travel, lock your luggage.

Never mind -- great city, good people, mostly perfect weekend. Pictures coming...

Who says Africa is unpredictable?

10-day forecast: Monrovia, Liberia High / Low (°F) Precip. % Today Oct 03 Scattered T-Storms 87°/73° 60 % Tue Oct 04 Scattered T-Storms 86°/74° 60 % Wed Oct 05 Scattered T-Storms 85°/73° 60 % Thu Oct 06 Scattered T-Storms 87°/73° 60 % Fri Oct 07 Scattered T-Storms 90°/73° 60 % Sat Oct 08 Scattered T-Storms 89°/73° 60 % Sun Oct 09 Scattered T-Storms 87°/73° 60 % Mon Oct 10 Scattered T-Storms 88°/73° 60 % Tue Oct 11 Scattered T-Storms 89°/73° 60 % Wed Oct 12 Scattered T-Storms 89°/73° 60 % Anyone care to join me? Tomorrow night I'm flying from East Africa to West Africa by way of Belgium -- seriously -- so if you leave now you'll probably beat me there. Bring a poncho!